How to gain someone's trust - Essays for April

Thảo luận trong 'EC-CLB Tiếng anh' bắt đầu bởi English Club_BA, 7/7/11.

  1. English Club_BA New Member

    April is coming to an end! The two essays below will be our goodbye for the month of innocence.

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    How to gain someone's trust.
    001Hoàng Phương Thảo - ATCB K12

    Have you ever wondered whether all the people always really trust each other in life changing everyday like this? In my opinion, only by people's belief can a relationship be strengthened and become deeply. Despite its difficulty, it can be sure that you can totally gain others' trust.

    It is undeniable that your own belief is the first basic thing for every relation to go further. If you want others to believe you, you must believe them first because the trust, like love, absolutely comes from both sides. By no means can you feel anyone's belief to you when you always suspect them. An advice is that you should behave as the way you want people to behave with you.

    Facts have shown that your sincerity in communication is also very important to gain others' trust. Whenever you start a conversation with somebody, therefore, you should try your best to be yourself who are really faithful and reliable. In addition, behind a person, no matter how much brave he is, is a desire to have others' interest and attention. For example, only with a normal but honest action when your friends are tired can you give them happiness, which makes them believe that you are a really good friend of them. Since then, your friendship is more and more tight and can not be changed by anything.

    In a word, nowhere can people love each other without trust. To have someone's trust, you should believe yourself and everyone who, according to you, are really trustworthy.

    Comments
    (Have you ever wondered whether all the people always really trust each other in life changing everyday like this?)1 In my opinion, only by people's belief can a relationship be strengthened and becomes (deeply) deep. (Despite its difficulty)2, it can be sure that you can totally gain others' trust.

    It is undeniable that your own belief is the first basic thing for every relation to go further. If you want the others to believe you, you must believe them first because the trust, like love, absolutely comes from both sides. By no means can you feel anyone's belief to you when you always suspect them. An advice is that you should behave as the way you want people to behave (with) towards you.

    Facts have shown that your sincerity in communication is also very important to gain others' trust. Whenever you start a conversation with somebody, (therefore), you should try your best to be yourself who are really faithful and reliable. In addition, behind a person, no matter how much brave he is, is a desire to have the others' interest and attention. For example, only with a normal but honest action when your friends are tired can you give them happiness, which makes them believe that you are a really good friend of them. Since then, your friendship is (more and more tight) tighter and tighter and can not be changed by anything.

    In a word, nowhere can people love each other without trust. To have someone's trust, you should believe yourself and (everyone) anyone who, according to you, (are) is really trustworthy.

    1 Expression. How about "Have you ever wondered if people still always trust each other in this ever-changing life?

    2 What is difficult? The relationship?

    Some comments on your essay:

    Congratulations! It is easy to see that you are making progress in your writing skill!
    You use more complex grammatical structures. However, the use of inversions in your essay seems to be more than enough.
    Stating the main ideas in the introductory paragraph is a good suggestion that you should consider.
    You have good vocabulary and the ideas are pretty well-connected. If you aim for higher score in IELTS academic writing, here are some pieces of advice for you: use more passive voice; avoid using too much "you" (Imagine if your essay were published to an academic textbook, how would it be? You are not talking to a particular examiner anymore, but the readers worldwide.); try some idioms and phrasal verbs. Keep it up!
    002Phùng Minh Quân

    'Trust' is one of the most valuable things that people want to gain from someone else. But different from material things, 'trust' is something that you can only feel it, recognize it not only when someone talks to you: "I trust you" but also when you look at his eyes, listen to his voice and be sure that he believe in you.

    'Trust' cannot be gained in the same ways as anything else. According to my opinion, firstly you have to know for sure why someone should trust you. It is very normal when family members believe in others. In other cases, trustful relationship should be built based on clear reasons: to coordinate in a plan, to make friends, etc. If you want people trust you but your reasons are not appropriate, or others do not know the main reasons, you may fail and even if you can make they believe in you, these trust are not stable at all. It is terrible when they find out the truth.

    Secondly, you should trust in your partner or your friend as well as you want him to trust you, because trust is something that must come to both sides, so your co-operation may goes well. It is very important especially between friends. For example, you ask your best friend to leak his secret, but be sure that you will not laugh at his face, and trust him even if his story sounds like very stupid.

    You cannot live without trusting in anyone or without others' trust. Like other life skills, gaining someone trust is such a thing that people should practice all the time to the end of life.

    Comments
    'Trust' is one of the most valuable things that people want to gain from someone else. (But) However, different from material things, 'trust' is something that you can only feel it, recognize it not only when someone talks to you: "I trust you" but also when you look at his eyes, listen to his voice and be sure that he believe in you.1

    'Trust' cannot be gained in the same ways as anything else. According to my opinion, firstly you have to know for sure why someone should trust you. It is very normal when family members believe in each others. In other cases, trustful relationship should be built based on clear reasons: to coordinate in a plan, to make friends, etc. If you want people to trust you but your reasons are not appropriate, or (others) you do not even know the main reasons, you may fail. (and) Even if you can make they believe in you, these trusts are not stable at all. It is terrible when they find out the truth.

    (Secondly, you should trust in your partner or your friend as well as you want him to trust you,)2 because trust is something that must come (to) from both sides, so your co-operation may goes well. It is very important especially (between) among friends. (For example, you ask your best friend to leak his secret, but be sure that you will not laugh at his face, and trust him even if his story sounds like very stupid.)3

    You cannot live without trusting in anyone or without others' trust. Like other life skills, gaining someone's trust is such a thing that people should practice all the time to the end of life.

    1 Expression: Try another way: "It is not just something a person tell you but also what you can feel when you look into his eyes, listen to his voice and be sure that he believes in you."

    2 Expression. "Secondly, if you want your friend to trust you, you should trust him first."

    3 What do you mean? Is this idea what you mean: "for example, you can only ask your friend to leak his secret by making he believe that no matter how stupid the story sounds, you will trust him and will not laugh at him."

    Some comments on your essay:

    You have made good points with your ideas.
    Try some clearer ways of expressing you opinions. Short sentences with simple grammatical structures do help.
    Stating the main idea in the introductory paragraph is a good suggestion that you should consider.
    By using synonyms of 'trust' e.g dependence, faith, reliableness etc. you may avoid repetition in the essay.
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